It is not your duty to look pretty

Last week I was dressed really ugly and I was ok with that. I was not 100% in the mood to go to work so I wanted to be comfy. My husband was in the hallway and he told me that the outfit is not nice and I had a revelation on the spot. I DO NOT CARE IF I AM PRETTY. Before everyone will say that I am in an abusive relationship, I have to mention that I usually ask my husband’s advice because we have similar tastes and I do not have so many girlfriends.

I was raised in a toxic culture, whereas as a woman you have to be elegant ( as elegant as an Eastern European can be), always perfect: nails done, fake hair, bla, bla. It is an extra point if you make kids fast, cook, clean, have a job, be social, and be a good daughter-in-law. Of course, I had the guilt all my life that I am not feminine, I do not like girly dresses, I hate to use makeup and my hair is curly – never perfect.

I am not shaming girls that like all that, I admire them because I never fit in. When we moved to Germany, I felt at home. Women here are free to look how they want. I like to dress ok, more gender-neutral, preferably long dresses, jeans, and T-shirts. I am 31 years old I here I understood it is not my duty to be pretty. I understand that I have to be decent at work but it is not my destiny to be aesthetically pleasing to other people.

If you ever feel like you are not yourself when you get all dolled up, please reconsider the thought ‘I am not dressing for others, I am dressing for myself. Ask more questions, and stay curious. 

Photo by Patrick Robert Doyle on Unsplash

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