Grief because this world is a fucked up place

Two weeks ago I had to struggle with acknowledging the state of the world in which I live. This was a significant trigger and I went directly into an emotional burnout. 

I know that therapy helps but I think I signed up for something I was unaware of. My impression was that speaking about the issues would make them go away, instantly. Then I remembered I am in the real world so nothing is magic and easy.

Rejecting spirituality made me feel lost, it was easier to lie to myself and move on. It is not something that I regret, I am working right now to live with myself, in harmony, but is hard. Therapy makes me analyze my life, and my values and question everything. I had a lot of weird views that were fueling my anxiety and I decided I will write about some things. I will not force myself to a number of articles because I am still in a vulnerable place. 

I am working out and I have around 70 kg. I had some issues with counting calories, I advise people to do it in order to lose weight but I started to obsess over it. I stopped because an ED is not something I want right now while struggling with other stuff. My workout routine includes Indoor cycling, yoga, and running in the park. I sometimes lift weights.

I will attach here a drawing with me and the Monster of Life. He is a creature that is made from all our thoughts, the dark ones, the ones that we can not make go away. I am happy that a friend helped me discover this monster. We were speaking about how when you go to therapy, you talk about your feelings but they are still there, you go home and stay with them all your life. 

Be kind to yourself and others. Some of us try to take it one day at a time. 

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