It was hard for me to sit on my chair in order to write this but maybe someone needs to hear it too.
I will add at the end of the article 2 videos that helped me decide I need a break because I was doing too much. I want to write a list of all the activities that I was trying to squeeze in a normal week, things that made me burn out, and enter into the Anxiety/Burnout/Depression Cycle.
- Full-time job – with my 1.5h commute;
- Keep the house organized;
- Go to therapy every Friday;
- Learn more about my mental health and research methods to feel better;
- Lose weight;
- Workout and take care of my diet/cook – I have a wonderful husband that helps with food shopping and with mental support;
- Improve my drawing;
- Learn graphic design;
- Take time to play with the cat;
- Post 3 articles per week – time for research and writing.
Of course, this is not something achievable in the long run, so after 3 months I had a massive depressive episode that scared me and I decided I need a break. My body also made me take some time off by giving me a massive cold and digestion issues.
I am now focusing on my health – mental and body – and getting in shape. In the last 3 days, I spend one hour on the bike, did yoga, and went to Qi Gong in the park. My self-esteem starts to appear, and I feel better about myself and about what I do. I also went to an event, a speed dating for friends – in order to find a friend, which is a girl – but I realized that this is something I can not handle right now.
I will probably post more when I will find things that might help someone along their healing journey.
Book recommendation: Own Your Past Change Your Future: A Not-So-Complicated Approach to Relationships, Mental Health & Wellness by John Delony. https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/60279448-own-your-past-change-your-future