Emotional numbness

I want to start this article by giving a link with more details as I am not specialized in mental health. https://www.healthline.com/health/feeling-numb#treatment

I wrote an article about how sometimes I feel empty and it is not a good emptiness, it is like black clay that swallows you. I got so obsessed with this feeling that I decided to speak about it in therapy and I found out that it might be emotional numbness.

Because I grew up in an unstable environment, it seems like my emotional baseline was emotional numbness and sometimes I get back to that. I used to think that it is something wrong with me, I have no reason to feel that way and I got frustrated and worried. 

I read a lot on mental health and this is the type of info I did not find. My therapist said that it is something normal and I should embrace the way I feel, and stop judging myself.

Going to therapy is perfect for me, I come back so happy and relieved. I like CBT because I do not have to get back and relive a lot of trauma and the advice from my therapist is priceless. 

Sometimes she makes excellent points and makes me realize that sometimes I have weird ideas about life. Ok, not weird but maybe idealistic, unreal. 

Last week  I got mad at work and instead of getting frustrated on the inside, I managed to express my feelings and felt better. I think I was a little dramatic but it is ok, I am new to this so I will learn to regulate my reactions.

Accepting things about yourself is the first step to a more peaceful existence.