I do not care anymore. I used to believe it is nice to show my personality with the help of printed T-shirts but I think it is done. Last week I went to look for printed T-shirts but I decided to make a major change in my look. I do not have to show people my personality, I have nothing to prove and I will embrace my new sense of self.
I used to make gifts for people when we would go back home, I would make nice stuff for friends but I realized this is not ok. I think I was making it as a form of manipulation, without being aware of it. I love that I let some bricks down from my bag, one at a time.
We went home and I have to admit I have a list of stuff to talk to my therapist about. I have no complaints overall, I used to come back in the worst state so I can declare this holiday a win. Inside, I transformed a lot and I am happy I am trying my best to let myself out. My wardrobe is going through some changes too, I am focused on 50s inspired skirts with sneakers and simple T. I already acquired 2 T-shirts and I will soon own a white dotted shirt. I haven’t worn a shirt since 6 years ago when my job was implying also wearing a white shirt.
I am quite excited about the changes, it is hard to fully understand myself and not get triggered but we will see. I am sure darker articles will come, I am still processing things and I plan to write them down.