Since I started college, I always believed that I am not made for a job that is dealing with numbers. I was thinking that I am an artist that was so unlucky, that I will be able to get to practice my skills, bla, bla. I never worked for my art, in the last few years I started to learn but I used to believe I will have my break. I blame this on movies. Just kidding.
The main idea was that I had this impression until recently. I also put my husband on a pedestal because he actually did that, changing his career while having a full-time job. These two factors made me go on a weird quest for years. I learned a lot of things in order to change my career but never did that. I also quit last year, partially because of frustration and partially in order to give myself a push and learn more programming. I didn’t do it, I applied for other jobs but I realized I like my current job. I was trying to change my path but inside, I had a struggle.
I actually like what I do, I love working in excel and managing my budgets. Sounds boring but it is a job, a good job that allows me time flexibility, money, and amazing colleagues.
I am the only one without a Ph.D., the youngest. These things never matter. The best part is that all of them traveled a lot so our lunches or dinners are amazing.
Currently, I am learning about graphic design and Krita, a drawing software. Before, I used to put a huge amount of pressure on myself, to learn it well, maybe I can change my life. Now, I am learning for myself, to expand my horizons, to know more about the world around me. It is different, I feel that I have nothing to prove. I think I am starting to be nicer to myself and this is amazing.
I am enough and so are you.
Photo by sydney Rae on Unsplash