Random questions of life

Toxic Spirituality

I am trying to write an article about something that is still in a healing process. I used to guide my life after some new age philosophies, I realized that is was something really harmful about it and now I am healing. 

Because now my brain is chipping in, I am starting to see the patterns and how harmful those believes were. I think that spirituality can give you a false feeling of confidence, self-esteem.

I am trying to get to the point but it is really complicated so I will just go directly to the example.

I saw a lot of people doing things because they had signs to do it. I was also paying attention to the signs but this idea can be so toxic. Deep inside, you feel that you have no control over your life. You feel that something/someone higher than you has a plan and I have no doubt that this concept is harmful. I am starting to hate everything and everyone who is making other people feel small. This is the best strategy to get control over someone, make them feel small.

I think another issue with ‘internet spirituality’ is that you don’t have a person to guide you directly. I think a master can help you with keeping your ego in check, it is really easy to feel like in a cult, to feel like you are better than anyone else, you are special. This type of attitude will push people away, will make you stay in a circle of people that only share your values and you will probably get stuck. I think a master is important to guide you but you can also get into a cult. I assume is a fine line and I am not there yet. I think I will not look for a master because I really hate cults, especially because I can really easily get stuck in one.

Taking accountability for your emotions is really hard to do when you believe someone bigger than you has a plan for you. If you fail, you don’t give yourself time to grief because “it was meant to be”. Things get worst when you also believe that you HAVE to think positive, this will make you put all the negative feelings in a box. The problem with positive thinking and the belief that you attract what you think will make you feel bad. I used to think about my fears and instead of taking time and analyze them, talk about them, I used to push them away. I used to believe that I will attract that if I will spend time on the issue. Can you imagine how toxic is this?

As I said before, I am still healing, I am still learning. I found really nice stories on Reddit. I will leave a link below with one of the first stories I read when I managed to free myself from these toxic things. I am also learning about Stoicism and I am starting to understand the importance of Philosophy in this modern-day and age. I will probably write a review about it.

The day I realized I am not special was the day I became free.

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