I was on the train and I was listening to a podcast. I commute around one hour and a half so I have a lot of time to hear stories. I am fascinated to hear how other people live, how they feel, what is their journey in this life. This was a very good exercise for me. I used to have a black or white mentality, and these stories helped me a lot to get more empathy in my life.
The story that inspired me today was of a woman who grew up without her father. He was in jail almost all her life and she had a lot of trauma. The podcast guy suggested that she was a peacekeeper, a person who will get over her feelings in other to accommodate other people. That hit home, especially when he said that while you are busy making other people happy, the one that is hurting is you.
I was really happy to hear that she has a wonderful husband, a very good emotional support. I already got used to crying on the train (my eyes get teary, I am not dramatic, not all the time). I felt so happy for her because I was happy for myself. I am grateful that this higher entity (God, Universe, Buddha) bought in my life this wonderful man. I also had no idea how a healthy relationship looks like, how I want the men next to me to be. I grew up in a weird family, in conflict, and I always wanted peace and quiet.
That wonderful woman was telling the guest that her husband is always there for her, he teaches her to free herself, he picks up the pieces after her and helps her calm down. Some husbands are angels and they are here to help us heal, to help us find peace. I am sure that some wives are here for the same reasons but I have no experience in that area.
Try to be better for yourself and for your partner. I feel that this life is too short to live in tension, to fight, cheat and lie. You can heal in a healed relationship.