Random questions of life

”I am sorry” – story and book recomandation

Did you ever apologize for feeling sad? 

I did that yesterday and when I realized that, I had a small shock. I am still learning to validate my emotions and I am paying a lot of attention to my reactions. Yesterday morning I had a hard emotional morning. I received some bad news, I was feeling useless because I can not be near a friend in a bad time and  I was listening to a sad podcast. When I got to work, I was already sad and struggling. 

I was speaking with my husband and I had a proud moment, I was able to say that I was not ok, I had a weird morning, and that I was emotionally drained. I was validating and acknowledging my feeling, I was so proud of that…until the end of the call when I apologies that I am ‘like that’. I knew I have to work on my apologising rate, I do that a lot, but I was never aware that I am apologising for my feelings too.  I do not remember when that started, as I was not aware that I do that, but I grew up in a quite weird family so .. 🙂

I am still at the beginning of my emotional healing but I am starting to understand why people say that the thirties are the best. If you start working with your emotions, you will be able to make decisions that really resonate with what you want, without the influence of other old experiences or old, unprocessed feelings.

I am currently learning from 2 books, both helped me a lot with my anxiety(one of them has a workbook, one requires a diary). I still have moments when I let myself get stressed and spiral out of control but I consider them healthy. Big results come from small things that you change over time. I feel that this process gets a little addictive, it gives me energy and I have a thirst to learn more. I was actually considering going back to school and majoring in Psychology but I have no more patience to learn. I will stay with learning by myself for now and I will see where my Dharma will take me. 

Dr. K’s guide and youtube channel are priceless. I will also list below the books I use right now, the first one is about cognitive behavioral therapy and the second is by Mel Robbins. I remembered one more, I finished that last week and I really enjoyed it, it is listed below. These books have a really nice way to express the message and make it stick.

  • COGNITIVE BEHAVIORAL THERAPY in 4 WEEKS: How to Overcome Grief, Panic, Fear, Anxiety & Depression.The Life-Changing Workbook to Rewire Your Mind & Master your Emotions – Madeline Holden.
  • Take Control of Your Life: How to Silence Fear and Win the Mental Game – Mel Robbins.
  • The Mask of Masculinity: How Men Can Embrace Vulnerability, Create Strong Relationships, and Live Their Fullest Lives – Lewis Howes.

Hope you will have a nice day! Please, be kind to yourself.

Photo by Austin Chan on Unsplash

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