Have you ever had a glass of wine on your balcony, with your husband, and started to cry? I had, 6 days ago.
It was a perfect summer night, stars and everything, and I felt it is time to tell him about the suicidal thoughts coming back. I am lucky that I found a wonderful man and we had a long talk, I am better now.
It took me a while to understand what happened, I am not 100% sure but I was emotionally exhausted. I tried to do so many things in one day until I could not go on with them. I motivated myself daily, ignored what I was feeling and I just went on and on with everything. I believed I was happy, maybe I was but it stopped.
Right now I am on a break from my weight loss, online classes, everything. I started yoga to try to center, we run 3 to 4 days per week and I try to see why I was so unstable on the inside. I am still writing my morning pages because they help me see what I still enjoy.
I will stop posting the fasting journal because it was part of the problem. I think my body feels good at 65 kg and I do not want to force it. I was focused on my body for 1.5 years, now it’s time to invest in my mental health. I think this will also have an impact on my body, overall.
I am planning to post links with interesting stuff I will find during this mental health journey and start to write articles when I will be better. I will have a holiday soon and maybe this will help.
Thank you for all the support during this weight loss journey. Without this blog, things would have been so much harder.
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