Fasting – end of journey

Have you ever had a glass of wine on your balcony, with your husband, and started to cry? I had, 6 days ago.

It was a perfect summer night, stars and everything, and I felt it is time to tell him about the suicidal thoughts coming back. I am lucky that I found a wonderful man and we had a long talk, I am better now. 

It took me a while to understand what happened, I am not 100% sure but I was emotionally exhausted. I tried to do so many things in one day until I could not go on with them. I motivated myself daily, ignored what I was feeling and  I just went on and on with everything. I believed I was happy, maybe I was but it stopped.

 Right now I am on a break from my weight loss, online classes, everything. I started yoga to try to center, we run 3 to 4 days per week and I try to see why I was so unstable on the inside. I am still writing my morning pages because they help me see what I still enjoy.

I will stop posting the fasting journal because it was part of the problem. I think my body feels good at 65 kg and I do not want to force it. I was focused on my body for 1.5 years, now it’s time to invest in my mental health. I think this will also have an impact on my body, overall. 

I am planning to post links with interesting stuff I will find during this mental health journey and start to write articles when I will be better. I will have a holiday soon and maybe this will help. 

Thank you for all the support during this weight loss journey. Without this blog, things would have been so much harder. 

Photo by Anne Lambeck on Unsplash

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